It is one of the most common myths that people maintain when it comes to child custody: Once a child reaches a certain age, that child can choose which parent to live with, right? Well, that is actually incorrect. However, this myth is based in history and actually grounded is truth. Under former Ohio law, once a child attained the age of 12 years old, that child had the power to choose which parent was to be deemed the residential parent and legal custodian of that child. However, under current Ohio law, minor children no longer have the ability to choose which parent they want to live with on a permanent basis. In other words, when the Court issues its final divorce decree which, among other things, allocates parental rights and responsibilities, it is not the child that determines which parent is to be the residential parent, even if that child is a teenager. Ohio law treats a 14 year old in the same manner as a 4 year old when it comes to determining which parent with be designated as the residential parent. And, like almost all issues involving minor children, the determination is guided by what is in the “best interest of the child”.
So, divorcing parents, remember that your child will not be choosing for or against you when it comes to custody issues. Rather, the Court will decide and you need to focus your energy on convincing the Court that it would be in the best interest of the child to live with you … do not work on convincing the child that he or she should choose you. Which, in truth, is not fair to the child anyway.
I don’t think that is fair to the child. Ohio is horrible at doing what is "best" for the child. The courts don’t always see what is REALLY going on in the homes, only what is being said by the parents, and parents DO LIE!!!!!!! So do children, but then there are the cases where there are children that are truely getting hurt mentally and physically and the courts do NOTHING about it because they don’t listen to the child or one of the parents.
i am a 12 year old. my parents got divorsed then one moved away and the court wont let me go even though i wanna. the law is completely unfair
I have a 6 year old that wants to live with me at all times and cry’s everythime its time to go to daddy’s. But cause of ohio laws there is nothing i can do unless she is being beat on then it would be a case 4 children services……
i agree with this and don’t agree with it. While I do not believe that most 12 year old children can fathom the repercussions of this decision, I was able to choose when i was 12 and it was the best decision of my life. And now my oldest son is in a situation where both he and his 6 year old brother recognize that Mom treats him poorly as compared to the younger child. I do not understand why and cannot get an explanation as my correspondences are ignored. We share custody week on week off but my oldest asks me every other Sunday if he can just stay with me. It breaks my heart a bit every time and I wish I could do something about it. But, in general, their mom is not a BAD mother, just maybe a bit misguided so i doubt a court would grant me custody. So .. I continue trying to be as supportive as i can be without speaking poorly of Mom and hope things turn out OK. I have never had an issue with his temper or attitude (he has a 3rd grader’s attitude .. no more no less). She calls me periodically telling me that “we need to get him help because he is out of control”. In the end, what can I do but be the best dad I am able to be when I have him.
I wish the laws were different. My ex-son-in-law has turned my oldest grandson (he’s 17)against me and his mother. He will not talk to either of us. He’s now working on my next grandson (he’s 14). We were there last week-end and after several text messages between he and his Dad his Dad came and got him. My grandson didn’t even say goodby. My daughter have joint custodity. I feel so helpless as I’m loosing my grandchildren because their father is mad at my daughter. If anyone has any suggestion on what either my daughter or I can do please let me know. Thank you
I have two children and am divorced. I live in Ohio. This law is wrong and nothing more. Both of my children are abused by their father and neither want to see him. He won’t let them around his extended family, but crams his new wife’s family down their throats. My children are old enough to state to everyone who they want to live with. My children live with me and see him on occasional weekends. They come home upset and mad. They are slapped and called awful names. There is nothing I can do about this. Childrens Services views ex-wives as troublemakers and little else. My child came home with a mysterious injury. People at her school didn’t believe the story of how it happened, but they did nothing. I am sick and tired of subjecting my children to a disfunctional loser, but I have no choice.
Now listen…….I call complete bull crap on this law of Ohio I’m only 13 and my dad treats me like crap and I can’t believe they won’t let those kids choose to stay who the want to stay with I vote we should change that
I cant believe what I just read! I am a young mother of two. My oldest child was taken from me by her father at 7yrs old. It was supposed to be temporary. I wasnt able to be present in court so her father lied and made me sound awful! My life wasnt the same when she left and she was to young to understand. Now she is about to be 12, has a 6yr old brother and a wonderful, hardworking step-father. I explained what happened and how her dad got custody and it upset her. She now knows the truth and wants to be here with us. Her father hasnt worked in over a year and hes still dating. What kind of stability does she have with him?! She needs her mother and everyone will admit it except him. He wont give up custody. Now I have no clue where to even begin to get my daughter back! We dont have money for a lawyer! The law is wrong in so many ways!! :(
Well, I guess you should have attended your court date…
While I can understand the points of view posted, one must also realize that there are others that welcome this law … especially when the child is being instructed / coached into making this very decision. If it were in the best interest of the child I could understand. However, when the mother does not have custody ( nor is trying to get custody ) of either of her other two children ( 3 children, 3 seperate fathers. Each father awarded custody of the children by the courts ) one can only wonder why only this child. Most probable reason would be financial income. I have a very good paying job. Prior to my winning custody of my daughter I was paying the mother over $600 a month in child support. I now make nearly twice the salary I made at that time. The mother has been fired from her job and is in need of income.
My daughter is a smart 11 year old … but she has a very manipulative mother and grandmother who are more than willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want. I feel helpless to stop them from manipulating her to their will. I wrestle with talking to her about my concerns because I strongly believe that she should never have to make that choice. That simply isn’t something a little girl should ever have to do. She loves her mother … as she should.
I only hope that I can find some way to help her to see that she should never feel like she has to make that choice in order to make her mother happy.
I am a stepmom of a nine year old boy and 12 year old girl. Their mother refuses to put them in public school and does not do home school with them either. My stepson cannot read and neither child has even minimum education. My stepdaughter admitted to me on our visit that her mom and stepfather are growing and using drugs in front of the children and explaining to them that they are high and the mushrooms make them see colors and does not feel safe at her home. she even told me were they keep the drugs and grow them at the house( Which is completely falling apart). We want custody and they want to live with us. We have contacted children services before and they cannot get in the house. Will anyone listen to her. These kids need help and a good place to live.
I am a 14 yr old girl of divorced parents. I stay with my mother more often then I do my father. I only go to my dad’s when it has been 4 or 5 days sometimes even a week since i have seen him. I lately have been thinking about moving in with my mother because it is a better environment for me there, more stable both my mother and soon to be step-father have well paying jobs and we spend time together. So they are not only financially supportive, they are supportive in general. At my dad’s however he just got a new job and he normally just sits around playing call of duty. The house isn’t in the best condition either. He cleans just not seriously cleaning. When I told my him i was thinking about moving with mom he told that minors can’t choose who they wish to live with I didn’t believe him (he tends to lie compulsively. So i Decided to do a little research of my own when i came across this sight. I in my own opinion find it completely ridiculous that We, as minors cannot choose, that the court must decide. In my opinion, me being a freshmen in high school I know what’s best for me and do not think that this decision should be made for me by some judge i don’t even know! Completely ridiculous. Agreed?
My ex-husband is serving 10 years to life in prison for raping HIS biological daughter from another woman, however, I have been more of a mother to her in the last 5 years than her own mother has. She is living with her lady guardians, who live an alternative lifestyle. I just found out recently, that the partner of her aunt, body slammed her to the stairs and tried to strangle her. She has no marks, but it did scare her and the guardians both lied when they went to the hospital about why all 3 of them were there. Jessie who is 16, going to be 17 in March, does not want to leave and be put in a foster home, but wants to come live with myself and my husband because that is who she feels safe with. What can I do????? Please give me some advice.
I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS!!!! my fiances daughter everytime we have her when we are on our way to take her back to her moms she gets really depressed and starts crying and says “why do I have to go home? Why cant i stay with you guys?” we always have to tell her its ok and we wish she could stay with us. her mother does not care about her the house she lives in is filthy and never clean. and she cries for her dad every night she is at home because her mom doesn’t take care of her.
what i think is really rediculous is that no matter what a woman does it doesn’t matter, she always seems to get custody of the kids and outrageous child support. My ex has a boyfriend (i know, not illegal), but for some strange reason, he felt the need to call my 2 teenage daughters, even after they told their mom they were not comfortable with it. she would leave them at home to visit her boyfriend, let him drive them around with her car, he cannot get a license because of medical reasons, but that doesn’t matter either. unless you can prove she is a drug user, or a child abuser, you don’t have a chance. of course, if you get a single mother as a guardian-ad-litem, you can be guaranteed not to have a chance at getting custody. oh well, it’s going to be a short 8 yrs until both the kids turn 18, so then i’ll have the last laugh, i’ll still be making my salary, and she’ll be stuck with hers but with no more child support.
I’ve read all the comments posted. Yes, jmm, you should have went to your court hearing. And, no to screwedinohio, the woman doesn’t always get the children. My ex-husband divorced me because his mom didn’t like me and tried to take custody of our daughter for three years after the divorce. Finally, he was successful only because I took a job in GA and moved. I filed the appropriate motions with the court, attended every hearing, no matter how costly and proved to the GAL my stability in my new home. Still a year after I moved, the GAL recommended she stay in Ohio. The GAL assigned to the case did not have the best interest of the child in mind, he felt sorry for my ex-husband that he would not see his daughter everyday. But what about me, I don’t get to see her either. She’s now seven and I’ve been fighting to get her back for three years and the hearings are always fruitless, even though I have proved my ex-husband to be in contempt of visitation 4 times. I know the court first considers who will be more likely to facilitate visitation, and now I’ve proven that my ex-husband is not the one to do so. I found out that the first GAL had not been certified, a requirement of the job, since 2007 and was just relieved of his duties in 2010. A new Gal has been assigned 12/20/2010, and he has yet to call me or start his investigation, we have an evidentiary hearing 3/01/2001. The new GAL just yesterday filed for a continuance since he had not started his job, which was given him by court order to be do so within 14 days of the 12/20/2010 hearing. I have left several voicemails for the new GAL so that he couldn’t say he had no way to contact me. I contacted the court to object to the continuance and was told by the judge’s baliff that the GAL filed the continuance because he had not been paid the $500 to do his job. In fact the GAL had been paid in full 01/11/2011 and I have cancelled checks to prove it. Now I’m representing myself, PRO SE, and yes anyone with half a brain and a drive to protect your child can do it. I need to have this GAL removed and need to know what it takes. The Ohio GAL system has many flaws and if you read Judge Thomas Swift’s regulations for this position, the GAL is supposed to “vigorously defend the rights of the child” and a person in every court is supposed to be assigned as a “complaint department” against the GAL, for use by the people in each case, not just attorneys. No one is assigned to the Trumbull County Domestic Court for compaints. Now I’m going to file a motion to have the GAL removed but I’m sure the court will sweep his actions under the rug and the GAL will not favor me just because I made waves with the court about his lack of ethics. I have done everything that I can, no matter what the cost, to be able to see my daughter, but her father continually alienates her from me and my family. Please if there any suggestions, I would appreciate them.
What does it take to get this law revoked? My grandson is suffering horribly at the hands of his neglective mother. The child is six years old and tell us that he can’t wait to move out and buy his own house so he can get away from is mother. The child comes to my house wearing the same socks that we sent him home in…3 days later. The kid eats pop tarts for breakfast or nothing at all most of the rest of time. The mother trys to pick him up from daycare while driving drunk. The day care calls the police but instead of arresting her they tow her car off. She had one DUI that she paid to have exsponged even though there was a public record of a 2 plus breath test. It wasn’t the first time she came to the school under the influence either. Another time recently after she got her car towed off she sent her intoxicate boy friend who has a suspended license to pick him up. The drinking is out of control at the childs residence and he is abused mentally and physical almost daily. The child is scared to death of his mother and screams don’t call my mother, don’t tell my mother if he does anything wrong. He tells me that she hurts him. AFter he goes home to the mother’s residence he comes back angry, hateful, hitting, and his behavior is difficult to manage. He would like to come and live with stable family members. This case was referred to children services who did absolutely nothing. I guess the child has to be 1/2 dead to make the court intevene in the welfare of the child. Is there anything that can be done?
I went through a divorce about 9 years ago and my wife ended up taking my 3 kids because she had more money backing her then I did. I am now remarried and building my life with my new wife, my children see how disfunctional their mother really is and want to come and live with us. I have spent thousands on the divorce and am preparing to start the second round to try to gain custody of the kids. Why doesn’t the court system in Ohio wake the F up and listen to the children? It would make their lives a little less tramatic. Isn’t that what we really want? I live in Findlay and if you have money you will win so I’m sure I will be throwing my money away again but at least my kids will see that dad is doing everything he can for them.
i am a fourteen year old teenager, that wants to live with my mom. there is to much stress and responibility for me at my dads. i already have school to worry about.!! i would like to visite days with him.. but really nothing more. and i would rather it be in the summer.I AM FOURTEEN FREAKING YEARS OLD!! i should be able to pick where i want to stay. i am smart enough to choose. it’s so not fare that minors cant choose. not to mention that my dad has how many other kids.. he just cant keep up with another child.?
I have a grandchild that wants to live with us but if they don’t even think about the childs best interest with the parents we have no chance. We have raised her since she was a born. her mother just met a new boyfriend and moved in with him. the situation is just not good for a child. my grandchild has lost all interest in all the activities she used to do and she used to love school but now her grades are dropping and she says how she hates it now. She’s 14 now and says when she’s 18 she’s coming back home.
OK, I want to present another side to this and why the law makes sense. I am a father who has custody of his children because the mother was more than willing to grant this when we divorced. No custody battle, no dispute, just wrote up the parenting plan and she signed and also verified in court that this was absolutely what she wanted to do. She was focusing on her life. Well now things are not turning out as she would like and she is trying t convince my oldest child to live with her by promising a puppy. Plus they have no rules there. Bed time whenever they want, watch whatever movies they want (rated R for 13 year old, and two younger ones able to watch PG-13 or whatver)usually come home not having done their homework, sent to school without proper lunches or no lunch at all. Why would I want my child in that environment just because it is a circus and no rules sounds great for them? The child is 13 and is swayed by this but their mother is not focused on them but on her life. Keep in mind she was engaged less than three weeks after our divorce was final as she was having an affair near the end of the marriage, and this was after knowing the guy for a total of four months. Not the most stable environment, but when the parent tries to manipulate the child into moving in with her to just get more money, this is why kids can’t choose. Keep in mind there are two other kids from our marriage and they are not wanted by her. What message would that send to everyone if that were allowed to happen? The 13 year old does not care as we are all still very selfish as that age. So before everyone slams this law, please objectively look at it from the perspective of why it was created, because guess what? After a few weeks at mom’s when the child is upset there, then they want to move back in with me. I know children like to think they are capable but this is a decision with very far reaching consequences.
Just keep in mind sometimes the “bad” parent can be very manipulative and once the children are removed from that and in a stable environment, they forget all the bad stuff and fal prey to the grass is greener syndrome. I’ve heard the arguement from my own child that they understand how to choose. And when I calm them down and talk to them as an adult (which they claim they are to make this decision) and walk them through the situation they see it is for very shallow reasons that they might want to make a change.
Oh, and as a tail end to this so folks don’t think I’m mean, we will get a puppy, just right now the time is not right as we are trying to sell our house and can’t deal with that. And we have a dog already. So if the basis for moving is that the child is a teenager and lacks patience and the court allowed them to decide, and all the other factors do not matter to the child at that time, who can tell me that this would be right? I for one, am thankful the law is as it is so I can continue to provide a loving, involved and stable home for my children.
I hate ohio laws. they are competely unfair. there is not way that the courts or even the gaurdian ad litem knows the whole story. my exhusband got custody because he has money to back him up and i dont. both of my daughters has from day one of the battle that they dont wanna live with him. they now still tell him hthey wanna live with me but he wont listen and instead they get punnished for mentioning it. i think its totally unfair to them! i just do not know where to start on workin on custody due to money issues. i pay him child support even tho i have them more (he has residential custody for school purposes). i just hate that my kids r not truely happy and it breaks my heart to watch this happening to them…
Im about to turn 12 my mom has coustody of me and i hate it. MY MOM AND STEPDAD ARE ALWAYS HAVING ARGUMENTS AROUND ME AND MY BROTHER MY DAD USE TO LIVE WITH MY MOM AND KNOWS HOW IT IS WHAT AGE IN SC CAN I CHOOSE TO LIVE WITH MY DAD?
I live in canton ohio I have 2 kids my kids are in foster care the worker on case tell way too many lies the public defender did not do nothing on my case my kids are still suffering in foster care there trying to put my kids up for adoption / sale I would like for everyone to know I have group meetings here in ohio If anyone in ohio would like to come to my meetings let me know u can bring friends with u anyone can contact me my e-mail [email protected] my number is 330 268-9342
From the time my daughter turned 9 until she was almost 12, my ex was telling her that she got to choose who to live with. He made her tons of promises of everything he would do and buy for her if she chose him. It was a very frustrating time and really hard to deal with.
Then he filed for a change of custody and that was 8 months of annoyances. The ex and his current wife bad mouthing us. Them trying to coach DD on what she should tell the Guardian ad litem.
Luckily, my daughter is not stupid and doesn’t just follow what he says. When the GAL visited she told DD that she will listen DD, but that DD doesn’t get to choose. And she actually listened to DD.
She saw the truth in the whole situation and pretty much told the ex that he had no chance at getting a change of custody. Actually, we got a modification to the original Custody Order. The ex got less time with DD.
I am grateful that a 12 year old or really any minor under the age of 18 can’t choose which parent to live with. The bad parents would always bribe and promise trying to get their way. It happens too much now as it is. Thankfully I got lucky and had a great lawyer & awesome GAL who was assigned to us.
Who was your lawyer? Sounds like the could help my sis.
I have been reading these blogs and am completely torn with my situation. My son is 12 and has lived with me(dad) and step mom since he was 8. He moved in with me mainly because he was struggling with mom. Now his mom is doing great and stable life of her own. Married with 3 more kids. My son broke his leg at her house 3 weeks agal riding his dirt bike and now after recovering out there for 3 weeks, drops his opinion on me that he wants to move back in with her for school. I look at both families as being good ones but it is so hard to let my son go. What should I do?
I am a mother of a fourteen year old young boy. Me and his father are divorced and he resides at his father’s but we have shared parenting. My ex husband has told me he has smoked pot with my child and allows him to smoke cigs in his home. I want to get him into a safe enviroment but he doesn’t want to live with me.
Im 14 now and my step dad and my sister are always gettig me into trouble. My sister does something and then doesnt get in trouble but i do something and my sister tells my step dad and i get in trouble. I want to live with my dad, and I think its totally unfair that I cant choose. I hate this law, and I dont want to live with my dad just because i can stay up late or something. I just dont like it here.
This law would be great if the courts actually took the time to investigate and do what was best for the child, but they don’t. I have a 7 year old son that lives with his mother, her boyfriend, and new half sister in a small 2 bdrm house. Neither his mother or her BF have worked in over 2 years. They do drugs, get drunk all the time, he even threatened the lives of my sons grandparents because they know he is a bad guy. I went the proper route by hiring an attorney had the court assign a Guardain Ad-Litem do to what was best for my child but the lady did nothing. She didn’t even talk to half the people I asked her to. Then when she came up with her recommondation I wasn’t even allowed to see it. Noneless I didn’t get custody because she hasn’t been locked up multiple times yet. The system is horrible and the children are who has to suffer because of it.
How do you find one of these law articals for IL? I really could use one. But if it’s the same, that’s not fair. At all.
I’m 16 years old and I turn 17 next year end of march, I live with my mum and my sister but my dad lives in a different country and they were ment to get a devorce… So I just wanted to know what will happen after that? Will I get the right to leave with the parent I want to (my dad)?
Please answer to my question I really want to know about this
How old do kids need to be to pick witch parent to live with in west virginia
i am a 15 year old girl get this the court only thinks what is best for us on the opion of a jury they dont even think if the child is happy or not just what ever gets them off the stand quicker. i think that ohio should wake up and look around seeif we r not happy dont put us back in the same situaton. hello smarties up date the system and learn how to work in the real world!
Hi idk if this page is for Illinois but Im 14 and I want to live at my dads because he’s nice sure we do work around the house but at least I’m noticed and my moms house is ok but I feel like I’m not worth anything and I think my mom is a control freak sometimes plz help me I want to know how old u have to be to choose your parent in Illinois
I am a fifteen year old girl, and my mother is my residential parent for schooling purposes. I would like to live with my dad and go to school where he lives, but my mom has taken this whole issue to court. We have been in and out of court for 8 months now, and I have talked to multiple attorneys. I think it is childish that my parents can’t resolve some of their issues, and come to an agreement together for my sake, rather than spend thousands of dollars on fighting. I think that I am very capable in deciding where I would like to go to high school, but this law is taking away from my childhood. I caught between two adults fighting, and I feel like I’m supposed to try to fix everything. It is possible that this argument could go on for years because both of my parents are very “hard-headed”. I never asked for any of this.
i am a 14 year old boy and i live in california, im probably in the wrong section but im just trying toclear somethings up. i live with my mom and dad equal amounts of time and i am really unhappy at my moms, does abyone know how old i need to be to decide what house i want to live at?
My godchild is 11 and her father is in jail and her mother is a drug addict. She is currently living with her uncle so that she can “go to a good school” her mother says.. She feels like her mother is choosing her boyfriend over her and her siblings which, she is.. She mentioned to me that when she gets to be 12 or 13 that she wants to come and live with me. I researched it and found this website. She has no say so in Ohio. That is not fair.. She doesn’t have either of her parents as it is. She knows that I would give her a better life and her family here with me would love her beyond anything she has ever known. I think that this law should be different for these kind of situations. I have been in her life since birth and I’m the only good thing in her life thus far… Situations like this should be an exception…
I do not want kids on the street with these kinds of disputes.
Thats not true at all. My 9 year old and 13 year old were brought in front of the Ohio Hancock County magistrate and chose their dad. That is what the magistrate used to rule for their dad. So, even if it is law, i don’t believe its being followed.
im 13 years old and cant figure out who to live with my mom wont let me move in with my dad and my dad left me and my mom when i was 6 months old and ive talked to him about movin in with him and i just want to live with my dad because i live in a house with my step dad drinking miller lite beer and my mom gets on my nerves but i just dont agree with kids my age tht hae to go threw any of this and my parents are divorced!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know that law really sucks as do most ohio child support laws, who is it that makes them anyways and if it is the childs interest they are so worried about then why wont they listen to the children? I get more and more frustrated at receiving calls from my children about their mother and mothers boyfriend always drinking and fighting and bringing them into their arguments!
Ive noticed a drastic change in my sons attitude towards everything because of being beat by their moms boyfriend or their mom! Alcohol always playing a factor. I brought this up to the courts about her problem with partying to no avail it seemed to me like they didnt believe me. Then not even a month after our hearing wolla!! She gets a d.u.i!!! which she managed to keep concealed from me for a long time until one day goin to pick up my kids and she forgot to hide her car i noticed her party plates!!! That is the nice yellow plates they give you for a dui in ohio.
You know even having money or a stable environment for your children doesnt always help. I had my own construction company had bought a house and had my budget figured out to where i can actually have extra money for unexpected events that may occur, but the one i wasnt ready for was her quiting her job making 18.75 an hour to go back to school full time! Which somehow got my child support amount more than doubled which led to me falling behind on all my bills and losing everything! Honestly how is that fair that I should have to pay for her to go to school? The money she gets from me doesnt go to my kids but her and her non working boyfriends drinking habits. There is a party over there every weekend and sometimes during the week! How is it that she can afford to pay for all this food and alcohol for her and her friends but wants me to buy clothes and everything else for my kids to have something nice to wear. Both my kids tell me everyday who they want to live with and when i tell them they cant they just cry more seriously is that in the best interest of a child? Or what about my 12 year old saying he wants to kill himself because of the moms boyfriend alway dumping his folded clothes out of a basket because (they wouldnt buy him a dresser)and making him refold them and put them on the floor! All because that particular basket he was using is not for his clothes.
Not to mention the fact that she up and left with my kids over a year ago moved to florida 1200 plus miles away and child support wouldnt do anything about it. On November 27th I broke my hand and wasnt able to work so i made a trip to florida to see my kids that i havent seen in 14 months because of a rediculous amount of child support that i have to pay i couldnt afford to do anything!! Which is more than 50% of my income!!! How am i supposed to live? Ill tell you I have to roommate with my friend his wife and kids while my kids mother is living in a house that is 1400 a month! not right especially considering im supporting her and him and nothing to my kids! Anyways while child support wouldnt do anything about her moving out of state it was nothing for them to suspend my license while not working because of a broken hand for non payment! one month! So now being stuck in florida which i drove here and now not having a license cant drive back.
Its the whole child support thing thats ruining people its all about the ones receiving the money even if they dont need it!!
i currently live with my dad and my mom and me are trying to get custody of me and my brothers (we have been trying for over a year now) and it really aint working last night we called the cops and they didnt do anything about it and we tried to go to court and for some reason their denying(what my mom told me was she had to go to the court where our dad lives and then do all of it maybe?) if so if you have any info (ways to see how we can get custody from our mom) please tell me at thanks :)
hi i would like to know what can i do to try to get my daugther back i have done just about everything that i know how to do but can someone offer more advice?
I believe that we, as a group need to bring this issue to light and press the courts and law makers to change the Ohio Revised Code. I too am in a situation where my children do not want to be with their placement parent. My kids are all below the age of 12 , but have discussed with me more times than I can count how they want to live with me and not the residential parent. I have a shopping list of reasons why the children want to move, but not enough space. If I could afford to go back to court to fight for custody I would, however the other issue that plagues me is the bias in the domestic courts.
I want to live with my dad. And my mom says no. I feel its not her choice. She doesn’t know the emotions I am feeling inside.
I feel that any child, weather the situation or not, should be able to say where they want to live. My 8yr old stepson has told us (myself&his dad) that he wants to live with us. He dont like his mom. She is mean to him and Makes him watch his baby sister. That child is not capable of watching his sister. I feel for the children that have to deal with this!
My grandson currently lives with his mother and step father. His step father is mentally abusive to him. He knows the step father does not like him and treats him unkind. This new law is not for children, our court system is not trying to help children, they do not have a clue or else they do not care. What a shame for Ohio Children
if the father has been verballly and physically abusive in the past and the parents have never been married to each other and mom is living in a hotel can the father possibly get right s to take the child if he has a house but choose not to see the child for two yeas or more.
i am 13 and my dad has supervised wisitation and my mom is a dumb b***h and keeps me there against my own will.that is messed up
4 yrs ago when my son was only 8 his father and stepmother decided they wanted custody of him. i have had full custody of him since he was born. ( his father and i were never married) their only reason for wanting him which they admitted in court was she couldn’t have kids and i could have more. not because of abuse or neglect. because he made more money then me the two of them promised my son all sort of things, a dirt bike, no chores, if he wanted something they ran out and bought it for him. i can personally say i am happy my son didn’t get to choose who he wanted to live with. to many parents try to bribe or buy there kids and in reality the parent with the most $ isn’t always the best choice. a child may think they know what’s best for them but they are children. btw i kept full custody of my son
I am a father of a 10 year old girl and a 14 year old boy. My ex, a loving mother is remarried to an alcoholic, yells at the kids one inch from their face. How should I handle it? The boy hates him and wants to live with me , she has sent him to live with me for the school year. Still getting child support for both. Now she is getting evicted , after being foreclosed on in her previuos home. Should I open a case, or let the law handle it.
My ex got custody because he did an emerg hearing gave courts FALSE address, but a miracle happened and 10 mins later he went next door to child support and remembered my correct address. (date stamp and time stamps do not lie on the documents) He also gave false info to judge that stated I was in jail but he got out of jail 1 DAY before this hearing. He also stated he was in fear of his sons life when in reality, HE has a criminal record that includes: drug charges, Aggravated Menacing with a weapon while intoxicated (2xs) DUI, Domestic Violence, and so forth, I do not. Also, my son and I were living about 6 mths in FL and I was being nice and letting him visit his father so we met half way in KY which I had a written agreement about this which he stated to judge that I abandoned my son. The worst part is that I was unaware of this until I went to pick my son up and that is when it was too late. Now 5 yrs later, I have sent package after package stating that I needed this case to be reviewed because there were facts unknown to the court at the time of the initial decree. I have already sent the evidence to prove my case several times and would like a reconsideration of custody as soon as possible. I cannot get a phone call back from the judge or the courts, I cannot get a response from them and my son has been crying and pleading with me for two weeks to please do not send him back that he was scared. I have lived in this nightmare for 5 yrs and I cannot get anyone to just listen and read the evidence. So yes, Ohio does not want to help when it comes to the rightful parents.
Here is another side to consider. I have always had primary custody of all three of my children. When we divorced, my ex was given visitation. Over the last 12 years he rarely made an attempt to see or spend any time with any of them. On the occasions where he wanted to see them, I was always very accommodating. School events, sporting events, etc. he never bothered to attend because they weren’t his thing. My boys are now older and graduated. Now that they are older and all the hard work has been done, he wants to spend time with them…… He reminds me that he’s the “cool dad”.
My 16 year old daughter has now told me she wants to go live with her father but, she’s never spent more three weekends in a row with him in the last 12 years. She and I get along great however her one of her biggest complaints is that I’m always in her business because I keep an eye on her social media, etc.
Part of the reason behind our divorce was that he had a relationship with my sister’s 16 year old best friend. While no other formal charges have been filed against him, there have been many other allegations along the same line. His own sister told me that he raped her when she was a teenager and his step-daughter who is the same age as our daughter also made accusations against him. Children’s services have been involved on several occasions regarding this, under aged drinking, etc.
His three step-kids have all had their fair share of trouble but, mine have never had any trouble in or out of school. The 16-year old step-daughter was sneaking out of the house, drinking, smoking marijuana, and sleeping around since she was 13. She was also expelled from school for stabbing someone with a pencil. She now lives with her father. When the step-son was 17 he was allowed to stay out partying all night with his friends.
It is not a good environment for my daughter but, she sees freedom and all these promises from my ex. He is not a parent, he’s a party dad. Allowing her to make this decision is ultimately not what is in her best interest. Situations like this are a perfect example as to why this law makes sense.
Ohio sucks when comes to what’s best for children.
They adopt children out to people who receive checks for being mental and to people that live on welfare.
And the same people have anger issues and they let them foster children on top of that. They are so mean to these kids they lock their oldest child in her room and they beat on her and her brother these are the adopted kids the dad holds the son up by his throat and calls them filthy names the child services has been called out a number of times and they call ahead and them know they’re coming the daughter had told them at school and still nothing has been done. Now the daughter has anger issuescause one if the foster boys they brought in was older and he raped her. Now all this is happening at her fathers house with hisggirlfriend. The mother is scared to death of the father cause he used to beat her. So one day the girlfriend and mother was with the kids at the father’s the house he was out of town and the girlfriend started hitting the daughter and the daughter finally hit back to defend herself and th he girlfriend called the cops and the father the father told the to have her locked up at a mental facility and she told them she was crazy and was suicidal and she is far from that but the mother did it to get along with the father and girlfriend. But they mentally abused her and physically abused her all day and half the night telling her she was useless and God made a mistake when he made her . She wants to live with her grandmother or her mom if she doesn’t have to go to her dads. And we found out that she had one case worker and then all of a sudden she got a new and guess what the new one is friends with the girlfriend and she tells them everything and when the girl tells her what they do like the father and girlfriend was fighting and she left and the father held a screwdriver to the daughters throat and her and her brother if leaves and doesn’t come back he was going kill them and himself and the daughter told het case worker and she told her that people do that sometimes out of anger and that was normal and that she needed to be good cause her dad and was getting married and she will just have to deal with it and the daughter has told everyone what has been going on and no one will help her and Lawrence county ohio is terrible and this man who calls his self a father is my brother and my and his ex-wife adopted these 2 kids and they all live on welfare and crazy checks. Lawrence county ohio doesn’t care about kids. They call my mom every chance they get crying wanting to live with her but my mom lives on a fixed income and my husband and live on a fixed income cause my husband worked in a steel factory and was injured and can no longer work but draws regular social security not ssi he has ever since he was oldeenough to work but we don’t know what to do she will be 13 and he will be 10 and they are scared to death of my brother oh and he also smokes pot and drinks a lot
So please any suggestions we need help and these babies need help the government put these kids with these crazy people but they don’t care
I hate my father, i dont want to live with him. i met him when i was eight. first time. he never wanted me. when i turned 13 he got custody, im almost 16 now, less then a month. is there anyway i can choose who to live with ?
As a 12 year old I agree that this is STUPID I want to choose I want to live with because I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO LIVE WITH THEM NOT THE COURT! So court law needs to change I want to choose!
And I don’t like my father and if he found out that I didn’t want to live with him he’d get furious with me and not allow it he makes more money than my mom so he would get custody of me yet I want to live with my mom my dad is so mean to me and I hate it!
Please how long do I need to wait. ….. I know there are all of us that have issures and they are important to us all but please I have not busted my butt to take care of my boys for some selfish father that killed his own daughter because he kicked her out of this home to think it’s okay to rip his son right out of here, his home.
I like the law because some father’s only play daddy when the law like this is involved… Then go crazy on you when they cant have they way with control of the child .. So they spoild the children when the mother. Show them no! They go to the father and it a yes! So the child will choose the one who spoils them the wrong way and let mom feel like her job keeping everything right is left wrong.. So í like how this law is children shouldn’t have say so cause they can’t have they way with both sides. Parent’s need to come to gather as co parent’s and work as a team and put feelings to the side so children’s can have both and health for there life as growning up.. So as for me this law needs to stay ohio.
It scares me because I am going though a divorce and they are forcing my 11yr old daughter to have supervised visits with her father. He has abused her and myself, he also has several mental issues and has been put on a mandatory 72 hr phyc hold. It doesn’t even seem like the courts care about the victims. We feel like all of our rights are taken away. My daughter and I want to relocate so we can have a life free of the abuse. The courts have no clue about what is best for my child especially when she is now on anti depressants and anxiety meds because of them forcing her to have a relationship withher abuser…. Its wrong and things need to change!! We do have order of protection but that ends on the first of the year. And it scares the hell out of me because he and his family is also mental!!!
I’m 13 and I honestly think its the child’s decision where he or she wants to live. If they think they will be happier with one parent that’s great, isn’t that the point? My mother said to me, she doesn’t care if I’m happy with her as long as I’m healthy and not making bad decisions, but I would rather die happy than live a healthy life and be angry and upset at the world. Also if i move into my fathers, i will be happy and I will make the right decisions there so I don’t see the problem at all.
This to beautiful above. So my child who reported being touched by her moms husband in a way an adult shouldnt touch a child shouldnt have a say if she feels like hes gonna do it again . WTF are you retarded? When child services told us he basically has to fully rape my daugter for it to be a danger, but then just maybe they might investigate . or how about all the picture that were sent of bruises she sufferd from her mothers hands to the GAL that were ignored . The system is fucking broken there is no best interest of the child . I watched a wood county magistrate give my daughter to a woman who hasnt seen my daughter in 6 yrs due to some bs law about unmarried mother . No doubts or arguments were given anout my home not being good or me being a stable good father in trial but still even after the evidence an my daughter telling these people her fears she was still handed over HOW THE HELL IS THAT A FAIR OR JUST SYSTEM , HUH TELL ME Beautiful or anybody else that agrees with this bs
I agree with this law but there are always exceptions. For those who say the court doesn’t always know what is going on in the home, it is your responsibility through legal action to make the court see the truth. a 12 year old is not capable to understand what is best for them. Most kids who say they hate their fathers and the father never saw them probably do not know the entire story. For example, does the mother talk poorly of the father to make the kids think they hated him? I bet she does. The mother typically gets custody and sometimes she alienates the kids form the father. In this case the kids should be placed with the father, even if they think they hate him.
I know court so unfair! I know my child want to live with me!
I’m 14 years old and my sisters and I live with my dad. We want to. Before my mom left us, we (as a family) were planning to move to Florida this coming summer. We can’t do that now because: My mom won’t give up custody. She has visitation for every Wednesday, every other weekend, and rotating holidays. She’s supposed to call us everyday. She doesn’t do any of that. She has started a new family and doesn’t see us at all. She tells other people that she sees us every day but that isn’t true. She doesn’t even call us. When we tell the courts that and show them the cell phone records and everything, they still don’t give my dad custody because he’s a MAN. Ohio requires the other parent to provide child support and pay half of the medical bills. The judge ordered my mother to pay $0 so it would still be a “dollar amount”. She has nothing to do with our day to day lives,. She stuck us in a new school 30 minutes from our old one. My friends I have had since preschool don’t talk to me anymore because of the lies my mother has told their parents. My dad works everyday to provide for us. We’re living pay check to pay check and my mother gets to go out and buy expensive clothes and purses whenever she wants. Before she left, SHE CHEATED on my dad while he was in the FBI national academy, trying to make a better life for us. I caught her countless times with different men in our house. She would be drunk every night while my dad was away, with strange men in our house. I was afraid to sleep. A couple times I made her come to our room for a minute and she would pass out drunk in our room with the strange guy downstairs. I couldn’t sleep because she was still asleep and the guy was still in our house. The guys would come upstairs and look for her in our rooms. I pretended to be asleep. I didn’t sleep until I saw them leave our house in the early morning when no one else was awake. When my dad came back she got really drunk one night and hit my dad and screamed at us and left us. (she was arrested but for only overnight) She didn’t come back. I told the judge this but she didn’t listen to me. Ohio doesn’t require the judges to listen to the kids. My mother denied these things in court. We were sent to live with her for a while but it was brutal. While she was at work one day, her parents were hitting us. We called our dad while they were hitting us and the police came. We tried to tell our mother what happened but she didn’t believe us. My dad came and picked us up and took us to the hospital. My youngest sister had scratches all over her, my other younger sister had a leg injury and I had a concussion. The judge still didn’t give custody to my dad because my mother denied that this ever happened. After a very long and hard year, my dad finally got residential parenting but my mother still determined where we lived, went to school, etc. Currently, we haven’t talked to her in 6 months. She has a new baby now and a boyfriend. She never apologized to us for everything that has happened. Instead, she has tried to convince us that that hasn’t happened. This summer, we are meeting with different people to help us try to get my dad full custody and be able to finally move to Florida. (It’s our dream) We have a lot of family down there. But with Ohio’s laws, it is going to be a very long and hard road to get there. Even if we ever get there. We might not. I don’t understand why the kids don’t have a say in who they live with. Obviously, tiny children don’t understand who they want to live with. But I am 14, in high school, making straight A’s, and in all honors classes. Yet, I’m still treated like I have the mindset of a 4 year old.
I’m 14 in 3 weeks I’ll be 15 my parents have been going to court for over 8 months and all that’s happened is I got put with the parent who has an abusive boyfriend I can’t stand that parent or him and my dad only had rule 17
Let’s be honest here…we are adults. The majority of why most like this law is because it worked and continues to work in their favor. Now let’s put a little spin on it.
You are married for three years and your wife has been cheating on you while you are at work. One day your wife leaves to visit her family and decides she is not coming back. Eight months go by and not a single phone call or text from her. One day out of the blue she calls and says whe will be in town and when she shows up you see that she is pregnant. It turns out she doesn’t have a job and had only known the biological father for a month and his employment is hit or miss as well.
You still love her and pitch to raise the child as your own and mend the wounds with her previous child. Now your first child is already a year old and eight months have gone by without her and she is upset that the connection isn’t there anymore…it’s your fault for some reason.
More time goes by and you find out she gets an abortion because the new child will not fit into her mended life. She decides to go home to visit and you suggest that she take the kids to visit as well since they have not seen her parents in over a year. She doesn’t come back.
The hearing comes and you explain your stable employment, stable household, reserved spot for private school, your financial income to support and provide for your child, and you even traveled from a different state to do all of this!
The only thing you ask for is primary custody and you are willing to be flexible (within reason due to travel) for your soon to be ex-wife, currently unemployed and no residence of her own or medical coverage. You think you got this because you have done your best to provide, you sacrificed your your child, you made the right decisions in order to sustain you and your child.
In the end the judge deems your responsible for the marital debt, child support, medical, dental, vision, etc. and you pay 50 percent for the current vehicle she is driving (come do find out she has stopped paying on a couple of months prior to this hearing), and no custody. You ignore the gloating and name calling from your wife’s family and her new boyfriend. You make your way outside to talk with your attorney and your ex-wife’s boyfriend tries to pick a fight with you on the courthouse steps and being the adult you call the judge over and tell him, “I hope you just witnessed the outcome of your decision. I have been assaulted verbally, degraded, insulted, and threatened within 20 minutes after the hearing. Thank God you are the best at your job.”
This is my story. Their home was bare minimum and now my child support has furnished their home with anything they could ever ask for from huge televisions to a pool in the back yard. I have to listen to it every single time I call to talk to my son – before I can even talk to him I have to wipe to blood from my ears “did you see the pictures of all the stuff I bought for the house? We are paying in full for a vacation spot.” Blah blah blah. Their life is better because of the income I bring to their home, while mine dwindles away.
My son wants to live with me badly. We both cried last night because I only have them for the summer and they go back soon. He will be 11 in two months.
This is my story. This is the law you favor so much. Money and influence rule this world and I spent mine on an attorney that didn’t have much influence. Maybe if I had more to spend with what little I have left, but that would take away from my son…catch-22.